Thursday, February 28, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
So sick of thinking about weight and surgery...
Oh my gosh! right now this minute I am sick of talking about and thinking about weight and surgery. I feel like I have overloaded my brain with it. I am about to meet a friend to go walk and she works at my gym and all I could think is.. Damn am I gonna prattle on about the freaking surgery, or my weight loss, or what I eat, or how I feel or what people have said to me??? This obsession is wearing on me. I am a normal size now, and bascially the fact of my previous fatness and my current condition is something I can keep to myself, but I am obsessed with talking about it. I know that will not change, I will still continue to seek the attention and the constant reassurance, but Damn I am sick of myself right now. Can I spend 1 day not thinking about weight and food? 1 freaking day? Can I be complimented on something other than my face or figure? I feel like I used to be judged on my intelligence and spunk and now I am just a collection of features and looks. I don't want to seem vain, but I do think I am a pretty person, but is that all I will be when I get to my goal weight? I feel like I am in a personal identity crisis right now.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Getting back on my game
Ok, need to write to ya'll and let you know what is going on. I was 222.4 this morning and yesterday, the day before that 222. It is cool, but I have not worked out since tuesday and I know that is the problem. I am starting back tommorrow. I don't feel good about getting off track, this the the longest I have gone without hitting the gym. I have been feeling like I can't get anything done. I have spent all day today updating my food journal and my online food journal and getting all my ducks in order. I am feeling better. I have a plan for this week and 2 days ago I made a large batch of black beans and a batch or chciken chili. So my food is in order and my schedule is planned, I just have to do what I know I should.
I have enjoyed my new job, I am doing very well there. It is weird being around people who don't know the old me. They just know me at size 16, kinda normal sized. I always do my hair and makeup and I think I look nice. I can tell I am being treated as a good looking girl instead of one of the guys. This is new for me. Customers flirt with me and it is so weird too.
I was in the bathroom at work looking at myself in the mirror, and I look so differnt, so trim. I saw light between my thighs, the smooth look of my shirt tucked into my black work pants. I don't look like stuffed sausage. I just feel so small. I love it.
So basically I have been a bit lax this past week, but I am getting back into the swing of it
Wish me luck!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Busy day
I am in GA, sitting in a coffee shop haveing my protein shake, I am doing well. I have a massage o do in less than an hour then I drive to Villa Rica and do another. Then 1 more hat is 2 hours long. Long day! I cleaned my brothers yucky bathroom and livingroom so the day has already been long. I have lost some more weight though! Hope ya'll are doing ok!
