Oh my gosh! right now this minute I am sick of talking about and thinking about weight and surgery. I feel like I have overloaded my brain with it. I am about to meet a friend to go walk and she works at my gym and all I could think is.. Damn am I gonna prattle on about the freaking surgery, or my weight loss, or what I eat, or how I feel or what people have said to me??? This obsession is wearing on me. I am a normal size now, and bascially the fact of my previous fatness and my current condition is something I can keep to myself, but I am obsessed with talking about it. I know that will not change, I will still continue to seek the attention and the constant reassurance, but Damn I am sick of myself right now. Can I spend 1 day not thinking about weight and food? 1 freaking day? Can I be complimented on something other than my face or figure? I feel like I used to be judged on my intelligence and spunk and now I am just a collection of features and looks. I don't want to seem vain, but I do think I am a pretty person, but is that all I will be when I get to my goal weight? I feel like I am in a personal identity crisis right now.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
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2 comments:
Hey girlie. I hit u up on your personal email a bit ago. I have been lurking the boards and all.
I can imagine what you're going through. I mean, it already is consuming so much of my time and thoughts just being pre-op. I can imagine what it will be like after the fact!
Oh, I think this obsession starts long before the surgery and I don't know how long it lasts. You are articulate, intelligent, and you have wonderful facial expressions. I love your whole attitude about wls and your openness about your experience.
And you were right, it was your video I was speaking of in my blog. It really touched me.
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