Living in the moment...

Woke up early this morning, felt like going to the gym again. I tried to do 30 minutes on the elliptical, 10 minutes was all I could do. Then I walked the track and then I swam. I was 263 this morning. I have been losing quicker this week. I think it is because I have been focusing on working out and not snacking as much. I feel so different. I was sitting in a chair today and just crossed my legs. mind you it wasn't a skinny person leg cross, but I don't normally do that. I find myself sitting differently. I just feel different. Just 1 month. It is surreal. It is so soon to be seeing such results. I don't expect it will always be this good, but I am loving it. Before the surgery there was this tension in my mind always feeling like I should be doing something, like I was not doing anything to improve my weight and health. But now i feel like everything is being handled and it is one less thing to worry about. Yes I am overweight, but i am doing something and that makes it ok for now. I am at least on the road to health. its kinda funny, I feel like a secret agent sometimes. Like if I am in a store with normal clothes I think to myself "no one here knows I will be small enough within the year to wear these clothes" it is like a smug secret I keep to myself. It cheers me up and makes me feel ok to be me right now in this moment. I am not living in tommorow, I am enjoying now for the first time. Before surgery my thoughts of the future consumed me, i thought of nothing else night and day, what being slim would feel like, look like, be like... But now being me is fun. And enough.